November 9, 2013 – Waiting on Labwork

Tick, tick, tick, tick…..the clock ticks on as I’m waiting. I’m trying not to worry until I have something to worry about. I had 6 vials of blood taken from my arm this past Wednesday afternoon at the rheumatologist. I have a list of what all the lab was checking. It will be Monday before I hear anything result wise. It doesn’t help as I have waited the last couple of days my left hand has been having tremors throughout the days and my wrists are aching. The tremors make me a nervous wreck after a while. I may have nothing to worry about result wise and if that is true then I’m thankful. I’ll move on to the next doctor that can help. IF the results show something very off, I have all kinds of concerns. I’m a little scared of the what ifs. I don’t dare go into all my crazy worries here because I will have a long cry trying to put my thoughts into words. I don’t want to cry yet. I don’t want to cry unless I have a reason too.

This is the list of labs done. The part that is dark on the right says anti-histone. I’ve looked all this up already. This website seems to be a good resource for a non medical person to generally understand: Index of Lab Tests

May 23, 2013 – Diagnosis Scoliosis, Surgery, and Coping

She (costochondritis) seems to be easing with the meds, heating pad, and rest. I am glad for that and I really hope it will not be a chronic issue. I learned my scoliosis x-ray results today. I do have mild scoliosis. It is an 18 degree curve at T 11 on my spine. I’ll go back for follow-up x-rays in 6 months to check if the scoliosis is progressing. I also have some back exercises to try that my doctor recommended. I’m relieved to have an answer but I’m afraid of what progression could mean if that occurs. If I hadn’t had heartburn and abdominal pain, I wouldn’t have had the upper GI done. I’m glad the upper GI was normal but that also showed the curve I had no idea was there. I’m thankful I spoke up and asked for the scoliosis x-rays. I’m glad to know what is going on there. It explains possibly the costochondritis. I think I can blame losing an inch in height with scoliosis. I’ve been thinking I’ve been imagining feeling like my shoulders were off in some way and my posture was harder to maintain. I know I wasn’t imagining that now. It is an uneasy feeling with a touch of relief if that makes any sense. I’ve just got to put the what ifs aside and deal with each day. It may mean I’m dealing with pain like I have the last few days in my left shoulder and back.

On another layer medical mess, I saw a surgeon this week about removing my pilar cyst. It showed up about 6 months after I gave birth to the little men. It wasn’t that big at first and I wish I had it dealt with back then. It could have been an in office procedure. Unfortunately, I’ve let the cyst grow to the point I’m having outpatient surgery for removal under general anesthesia at the hospital next month. It is a little bigger around than a quarter and is raised about a half inch. I’ve lost hair on the cyst so I have a bit of a bald area on the top left of my head. A pilar cyst isn’t really the kind of thing that can be drained. It is an encasement of keratin. The whole capsule has to be removed. I think I’m dreading finding out how much hair was shaved in the surgical area, seeing the scar, and the pain as it heals. The surgeon said he wouldn’t know if he would use staples or stitches until he is working on it. He also said cutting on the scalp causes excessive bleeding when removing a pilar cyst. He told me that a bunch of goop would be put on the wound that can be washed out in the shower the next day. I’m guessing that June 10th will be the worst hair day ever.

I’m focused on leaning on B, my family, LM and other dear friends when things get too much. I was reminded recently that all that is going on with my health doesn’t just affect me. It affects B and the boys too. I’m really working on talking about my feelings and what I need with B. I’m trying not to hold everything in. I’ve got to pray about things. God will help me through the hard days.

May 17, 2013 – She Has a Name

I think I have a name for my latest health ailment. It’s a nice long name. I don’t want to be friends with this one. She can leave as soon as possible. Her name is costochondritis. It is a fancy name for inflammation in my ribs and associated cartilage.Mayo Clinic Info. I went to see my dr. yesterday because the pain had gotten constantly tender and painful. I don’t have the symptoms of gallbladder or a kidney infection. When the dr. pressed the front of my rib cage the pain immediately radiated to the back of my rib cage. So it’s hello costochondritis…I hope the steroids make you go and never come back. I like to live life. I like to sleep at night. The concerning thing is I don’t know what caused this and I hope it will go away. It could be quite a few things but I know what I suspect. I asked my dr for a closer look at the curve in my spine by way of x-rays. The tech showed me my images afterwards. The curve is definitely there in the thoracic part of my rib cage. I won’t know for a few days how much of a curve is there. I don’t know when scoliosis showed up in my life but here she is. I was checked for it as a child and it wasn’t found then. Subtlety over the past two years I’ve felt slight discomfort in my upper body. Not pain but it would feel like my shoulders were slightly off or I had to really work at holding my back perfectly straight. I hadn’t thought much about it all this time but now I am wondering what scoliosis will mean in my life. I’m trying to take each day as it comes, think positively, and not wonder too hard on the what ifs. I don’t want to end up like my sweet Mamaw with osteoarthritis that had her bent in half and eventually broke her back. I need to stop thinking too hard about the what ifs and think about taking care of me today and each day as it comes. I’ll admit that I’m a little scared.